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While no
longer Rick's Rap, The Co-Ed Discussion group meetings remain on their usual
schedule with it's new moderator, Held the
third Tuesday of every month at Libertalia
coffeehouse, 3834 5th Ave, San Diego, back room at 7:30pm The Co-Ed
Leather Rap Group is an informal group for men and women that meets monthly
to discuss issues of mutual interest concerning domination, submission,
bondage, discipline, and other related topics. The Group was started to fill
a need that had existed in San Diego for some time. Club X had
both a men's discussion group and a women's discussion group, but no group
where men and women could meet together to discuss issues of interest to all.
The formation of this co-ed discussion group was proposed to the Club X board
and the proposal was approved in January 1998. The first meeting with twelve
participants took place in February 1998. Monthly meetings have been held
since then with a growing number of participants. We have discussed a wide
range of BDSM issues since then including: BDSM fantasies, what we find so
exciting about this style of eroticism, BDSM literature, how to find
interested BDSM partners, how to cope with "vanilla" concerns in an
BDSM relationship, what if one partner wants more than the other can give,
BDSM gift/play ideas for the holidays, jealousy in BDSM relationships, and
many others. FAQ: Some of
the questions that have been asked in the past include: Ø Do I have to be a
member of some organization to attend? No, you don't
have to be a member of anything to attend. The group is open to anyone who
has an honest interest in BSDM. Ø What is the make up
of the group? Women? Men? It's been
split - about 40-45% women, 55-60% men. The women actually outnumbered the
men for a while last month - but a couple of late arrivals tipped the balance
in favor of the men. It seems to be about equally split between doms/dommes and submissives,
with a handful of switches thrown in for good measure. And there is a wide
variety of ages - from folks in their twenties to their fifties and older .Ø How many usually
attend? We have had
as many as 50 - but the number has been more like 40. I think it was 36 last
month. Ø Do people dress up? If you mean
fetish wear - not too much. Some leather, but nothing really outrageous (at
least not outrageous for that part of San Diego *LOL*). So if you find lots
of people dressed in black leather, you have probably found the group and not
some Tupperware party. Ø Do you have to be a
couple? No, we have
some couples, but lots of single women and single men. That was one of the
reasons I started the group - so men and women could meet and find out more
about each other before considering the possibility of friendship, playing
together, or whatever. Ø Will there be a topic? There's
always a topic - and sometimes we even stick to it. The topic for June will
be: "Maintaining Roles in Long-Term Relationships" or keeping the
DS alive when real life intrudes. The topic for the next month's meeting is
decided by the participants at the end of this month's meeting. Ø What is the format of
the meeting? The moderator
(that's me) introduces the topic and the participants take it from there.
People generally speak from personal knowledge - what their views are on the
topic at hand, what their own experiences have been, how they dealt with
situations, etc. People also ask questions if they have concerns that are
related to the topic. Of course keeping the group on the topic is sometimes
like herding cats. I also try to make sure that everyone who wants to speak
has the opportunity (there are some who tend to monopolize the group if given
the chance). Ø Do I have to
participate? Will I be put on the spot? No and no.
You can come and just observe if you want. When you feel comfortable with the
group, you can start to participate. Some people participate more than others
- some tend to ask questions, others just listen or participate very
infrequently Ø What is the average
experience level of the group? It's probably
a couple of years. There is one couple who attend who have been in the scene
for over twenty years - and others who are fairly inexperienced. Ø Are beginners
welcome? Of course -
we were all beginners at one time. I wish something like this had been
available when I was first exploring BDSM - it might have saved me a lot of
pain in dealing with a partner who really didn't understand what it was all
about. And that's another reason I started the group. |
